Child's Play
Season 1, Episode 7
Air date February 24, 2007
Written by Marty Isenberg
Directed by Ben Jones
Episode guide
Lightning Storm


A young sorcerer arrives on Earth and causes a heap of trouble. In an effort to send him home, Superman learns of his vulnerability to magic, while Phantom Girl puts her diplomatic skills to the test as she travels to the sorcerer's secretive world to ask for help.


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Brainiac 5 and Superman are in a coffee/donut shop in New Metropolis. A tray of muffins suddenly sprout legs and heads and jump out of their pan, disrupting the other customers. They go outside to see the storefront now has eyes and a smiling mouth, and then it starts literally raining cats and dogs. It turns out that it's not an extremely advanced being with tremendous power, as Brainy speculates, but a child dressed in orange and purple with a big helmet, jetting a magenta fire from his fingertips, announcing "This is so cool!" Brainy and Superman fly towards the source of the magenta light. He's standing on a track in front of an oncoming train, but before Superman can help him, the child gestures at the train and it sprouts wings and flies off. Brainy thinks he's seeing things. Superman uses his super-breath to freeze the train from flying away, and the child is impressed with his magic. Brainy informs the child that there's no such thing as magic - the laws of physics are quite clear. The child proceeds to prove there is such a thing by turning Brainy into a Jack-in-the-Box. Brainy is not amused. Superman introduces himself to the child, whose name is Zyx. Superman asks Zyx if he can turn the buildings back to normal (they had been given faces), and Zyx reluctantly agrees, even changing Brainy back. Superman suggests taking him back to Legion HQ, but Brainy thinks that would be a very bad idea. At the Clubhouse, Triplicate Girl is playing tri-chess with herselves when Zyx pops in and enchants the game pieces, followed closely by Superman and Saturn Girl. She wants him to stay in one spot long enough so that she can run a mind-probe to see where he's from, but Zyx tells her that his home is just rules, rules, rules, and he's having more fun zipping around the Clubhouse. He snaps his fingers and her earrings grow to huge size, dragging her to the ground. Superman tries to catch him, but Zyx causes his cape to wrap around him like a bow. Brainy's exhaustive scans show the source for Zyx's powers is inconclusive, but Phantom Girl suggests it really is magic. Her mom once told her about a Sorcerer's World. Brainy reiterates that there is no such thing as magic, so Zyx causes a chicken to appear above his head, which drops an egg and lands right on Brainy. He thinks it might be a good idea after all to call Phantom Girl's mother. She tells her daughter that if the child really is from Zarok, they're in trouble. Since Zarok severed relations with the United Planets centuries ago, they can't call his people to pick him up, so they might have to wait it out. Meanwhile, Lightning Lad watches a holo of "Comet" and "Cupid", the two pets of Drax who were left behind when Drax disappeared. It took a week for the Science Police to capture them and put them in the New Metropolis Zoo, but their cages have malfunctioned. Bouncing Boy declares that it's time for the big Legion of Super Heroes Roundup. Zyx wants to join in, but Lightning Lad tells him the Legion will handle it. Saturn Girl, Superman, and Bouncing Boy quickly capture the first one, but Brainy tells Superman that the beasts' cages at the zoo have not malfunctioned after all. Zyx admits that he might have let them out. Declaring that this is a job for Super-Zyx, he conjures up a Superman suit and rides the other beast like a bull rider. Saturn Girl commands it to sleep, and Superman picks it and places it with the other back in the cage. Superman tries to reason with Zyx, who wants to do that again, but Lightning Lad is more headstrong and tells him that if he can't follow the rules, he'll have to go home. This sets Zyx off, declaring that nobody can make him go home. He turns Lightning Lad into a rat and himself into a giant cat.

Superman stops Zyx from pouncing on Lightning Rat, and Zyx turns back into a humanoid. Bouncing Boy tries to break it up, but he's turned into goo and splattered against a wall, covering Phantom Girl and the rat. Superman asks Zyx to change his friends back, but he refuses, saying that Superman will just send him home, where he doesn't want to go. Brainy says that transforming matter has serious molecular consequences, at which point Zyx changes his extended robot arms to giant snakes. Superman tells him that this is not what super-heroes do, but Zyx thinks it'd be more fun to be a super-villain. Zyx conjures up thorny roses and sends them flying at Superman - who is surprised that he was hurt by the thorns. Then the flowers expand and eat him. Saturn Girl is shocked that magic harms Superman, and Phantom Girl tells her that she's got to go to Zarok to try to find someone to help. Saturn Girl will provide a diversion while Triplicate Girl brings a Legion Cruiser. Saturn Girl causes him to see her flying when she's really somewhere else, but he quickly catches on and directs some flying alarm clocks to hover nearby and break her concentration. The Cruiser tries to get away but Zyx sees it and blasts at it, saying he hates when people leave before he's finished. His last blast didn't affect the ship, but now Triplicate Girl is splitting into many copies. Declaring he's bored with the Legion, Zyx says it's time for a new game. Back on the Cruiser, Phantom Girl talks to her mother while Triplicate Girl multiplies out of control.

Winema Wazzo's first job in the UP was to try to open talks with Zarok. Their ways were humiliating and arcane, and she failed. Phantom Girl says she'll have to try anyway - her friends and New Metropolis need her. Suddenly a man dressed as a 19th century policeman with a British accent appears on a bicycle, and charges Triplicate Girl with an unauthorized use of a triplicating spell outside of the magical sphere, and cites her for it. She'll have to take it up with the Sorcerer's High Council, but meanwhile they can get the proper fusion spell from the Bureau of Magical Affairs. Phantom Girl asks how she can find those places if she can't find the planet, so the man de-cloaks the planet. Back on Earth, a giant-sized Zyx (now wearing brown with green trim) is stomping through New Metropolis like Godzilla. As he moves farther away, the effects on the Legionnaires wear off. Superman, though, is exhausted and worried that he could be hurt further. Phantom Girl is running the gamut of the Zarokian bureaucracy, standing in line and filling out forms, and is finally told that because she's representing the UP, she has to go through Customs, two dungeons down. Customs on Zarok includes fighting a giant bunny rabbit in a boxing ring. Later, bandaged and bruised, her request is approved - now she can go wait in line. Another man appears and tells her that without the rules, what would stop them from running rampant with their powers? Because she is so determined, the Council will hear her plea. In New Metropolis, Superman attacks Zyx, who is having fun breaking his new toys. In retaliation, Zyx removes Superman's powers - and prepares to stomp on him like a bug.

Saturn Girl swoops in to rescue Superman, and admits to Zyx that he's more powerful than all of them. Even Brainy is forced to admit that what Zyx is doing is magic. The Legionnaires taunt Zyx by saying it's not a fair fight if he has removed Superman's powers, so Zyx sets up a contest of magic versus super-powers in a nearby stadium. Zyx changes to a fire-breathing dragon, which Superman counters with his cold-breath. But he's merely buying time. On Zarok, the Council has agreed in principle to send an emissary to Earth to retrieve Zyx, but one member declares that Phantom Girl's presence on Zarok constitutes a hostile act, and therefore they are in a state of war with the United Planets. He commands that their forces prepare for attack. Back on Earth, Superman overcomes the dragon, which turns into a starfish to grab him, which then turns into a giant fan to blow him away. He turns into a human torch to neutralize Superman's super-breath, and then enchants a giant statue to advance on Superman. Phantom Girl begs the Council to reconsider, as it's all a big misunderstanding, but they are bound by their rules which can be neither bent nor amended. Saturn Girl senses that fighting Superman is pushing Zyx's powers to their limit, so Brainy suggests that they all attack and try to push him over the limit. Bouncing Boy knocks him off guard, and Brainy taps into the stadium's sound and light system to disorient him. The Council tells Phantom Girl that Zyx, for breaking the rules, will be dealt with, but after the war. As a representative of the United Planets, Phantom Girl officially surrenders, thus ending the war. Zarok's forces, advancing on Earth, fade away. The other Legionnaires continue to distract Zyx to the point where he causes an explosion from his tantrum, then passes out. The Legion Cruiser appears just as the damage is being magically repaired - the leader of the High Council has come back with Phantom Girl. Everyone and everything is back to how it was, including Lightning Rat and Unlimited Triplicate Girl. The Councillor apologizes to President Wazzo later, with Zyx in custody, for the actions of an impetuous youth. He tells the President that Phantom Girl convinced him it was time for renewed ties with the United Planets. He recalls when he last met Winema - and slyly inquires into the terms of their surrender, with Phantom Girl looking embarrassingly on.